quandary

Is that how you spell it? It's late. This is not my Thanksgiving post. This is still Wednesday to me since I haven't gone to bed.

Emily peed on the couch a couple days ago. This time it wasn't on a blanket or anything. Just right on the couch. Granted, I hadn't changed her litter in a couple days either. So it might have been my fault. I kinda hope so.

I bought more stuff to clean the couch. Normally it hides the smell very well. This time though I not only smelled where she peed, but all the past pee from previous accidents! I cleaned everything three times... It still smells. I'm hoping that it just needs time to sit. Either way, I think I'm through with this couch. Time for a new one.

But do we get rid of Emily before buying the new couch? I don't want to buy a new couch and have her ruin it with one accident. She still goes in the litter box. She only had been peeing on fabric items, so stopped leaving those out. But what if we do get rid of her, and she never would have peed on the new couch since it didn't smell of it already? What to do?

I've tried making her litter nice, citrus scents, praising her when she's in the litter box, keeping her away from the area. I haven't tried foil or anything like that since we use the couch so much. I think she began peeing on things that smelled like Matt and I because she was distressed and then it became a habit. So I feel bad punishing her for it.

No one else would want a cat who pees on things. We wouldn't want to just take her to the pound not knowing what would happen and leaving her all alone. So if we got rid do her we'd have her put to sleep. But that thought literally makes me cry. Even getting rid of her makes me cry. I just don't know what the best choice would be. I have always been a cat person and they are a great source of comfort to me. Comments about how cats are stupid anyways don't help and make me hate the sayer just a little bit.

I'm stuck. While I love the idea of buying a new couch, if we paid several hundred dollars for one and then she just peed on it then what a waste! One pee could ruin it if we didn't see it right away before it had time to settle. Stink. Literally.

I grow too attached. I cried tonight when Matt and I talked about putting her to sleep. I don't think I could handle it. I honestly think I might have mild depression for a stretch if we did. That may sound like an over reaction or silly, but it is true. We got Emily to keep me company because Matt works evenings. What will I do when Matt leaves for OCS? We may keep Maxie or even get a new kitten, but my Emily wouldn't be there. She's the BEST kitty otherwise. Everything else is perfect.

I'm starting to pray pray pray that I figure out how to stop her or that she just stops on her own. Seems silly to pray for, but is so important for my well being.

Sigh.

Goodnight.