Sleepy time

Confession time. Jack has slept with me in my bed most of his life. We've been trying to integrate his crib into sleepy time, but it hasn't been pretty. Often I can place him in his crib after he's fallen asleep with me, but that doesn't last the entire night. He has a very comfortable mattress so I don't know what the problem is.

It never bothered me until recently. Well, truth be told- I'm just fine with him sleeping in my bed. But I'm worried that a) he won't transition well when daddy is home and b) that he'll roll or crawl off the bed now that he's doing both.

It's also hard because we are in the same room at my parents. So when he wakes up and sees I'm not holding him but I'm sleeping right there, of course he's not going to be happy!

We also have a difficult sleep schedule. He typically doesn't go to bed until after 10. He gets about 8-9 hours of sleep at night (with 2 sleep feeds in there) and then only takes about 1.5 hours worth of naps throughout the day. Most kids his age sleep 12 hours at night with no feedings.

I thought once we started solid food he would sleep longer at night. Wrong. I'm reading a variety of methods so we'll see if anything works. Crying it out doesn't seem to. I'm very ready to stop night time feedings and for him to get accustomed to his crib. While I love him being with me, I know it'll just get harder from here on out!

So that is my confession. I spoil my baby and he sleeps with me. Lets hope I figure out a solution soon!

Shaping his future

Some of my favorite times are the minutes before nap time or bed time. Jack is go go go... And then suddenly he's not. There's usually not a winding down period. He's playful and very much awake, then he's quite and very ready to sleep. He doesn't go down on his own (only one time in his entire 7 months), but he prefers to be held to fall asleep. I love those few minutes of snuggles as he drifts off to sleep. I often rock him and sing softly to him. He plays with my hair or the design on my shirt and smiles up at me. I love the connection. I love his surety of me as his Mommy. He is secure in my arms and he knows that I love him.

As I rocked my napping baby today I took the quiet opportunity to pray for him. I prayed for his growth, for his character, and for his future. I prayed for Matt and I and the struggles of parenthood that are sure to come. I prayed for Jack as there will be times of absence from his Daddy and for our upcoming reunion this next week. I prayed for Jack to become a man worthy of his wife and I prayed for his future wife and her parents.

It is the most difficult job, parenting. So much at stake. So much to invest in. So much that can be lost. I am working at taking each day, each new stage of parenthood at a time and trusting God to give me strength, patience, and wisdom to rear Jack.

I am eternally thankful for the opportunity and privilege to be Jack's Mommy.

My New Job

Ok. I've always been an advocate for stay-at-home moms. I thought I knew how much work it was to clean the house, do the laundry, run errands, cook food, and watch the baby.

Boy. Oh Boy.

Having been a working mom and also now a stay-at-home mom, let me tell you: being a stay-at-home mom is WAY more difficult/tiring than being a working mom. I wouldn't trade the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom for anything, but it is a lot more difficult that even I thought! And Jackson is a super easy baby. I can't imagine life with a high maintenance baby!

While my life is a bit odd right now, I am still thoroughly enjoying my new job of motherhood. When I was working I was still a mother, of course, but I am just loving being at home with baby all day. It is so much fun to watch him learn new things. I can almost see the cogs in his little noggin turning as he figures out his toys. He is also fun to take out on errands as everyone we encounter just gushes over him. I mean, he is quite possibly the cutest baby ever.

My new job currently includes the busy-ness of packing up the house. Our table and chairs got picked up yesterday and someone came to pick up our dresser today. Tomorrow someone is coming to look at (and hopefully take) our loveseat. That just leaves our TV stand. The boxes are piling up on one side of the living room and our clothes are almost all packed up. I'm doing the last load of laundry with some of Matt's clothes now and then I'll hopefully just be living on the clothes I plan to pack with me on the road trip to Michigan.

It's all slowly falling together. It is nice to be able to take inventory of what we have and plan for the future. I dream up our future living room, future office/guest room, future bedroom. It will be so nice to be able to pick out our own furniture instead of living on hand-me-downs. We're not planning on going top of the line at all since we'll be moving around a lot with this furniture, but it will be nice to be able to choose the fabric/color we want and go from there.

What has kept me going through this transition? Cookies and Cream Drumsticks, Frosted Flakes, Orange Peach Mango juice, smiles and laughs from my baby, snuggles from my baby (seriously nothing better than the dead weight of your sleeping baby and then the squeeze of his hand on your shoulder), Grey's Anatomy, and hulu.

And through it all, yes, I miss my soldier. On today, 9/11, I am so proud of him for joining the service.

Stay-At-Home-Mommy

So far... I'm loving this stay at home mom gig! I mean really, is that a surprise to anyone? I haven't tried putting Jackson on a schedule since things are so crazy right now. Hopefully when we are settled in Michigan we can get him on a schedule.

Today Jack and I slept in a little (as much as you can with a baby) since Mommy was tired. Last night I began feeling lonely and really missed Matt. It was mainly because I wanted to tell him about my day and I couldn't. I think that will be the hardest part of him being away. I am a quality time and a lot of my quality time comes out in good conversation. It's hard to have good conversation with your husband isn't allowed access to a phone. So Mommy stayed up later than usual looking around online and occupying her mind.

Today, baby and Mommy met a friend for lunch, dropped off some parts for the bed we sold yesterday, went to the bank, and went to the grocery store. Jackson is such a good little shopper. He loved being able to look at all the things going on around him. He was in his umbrella stroller for lunch and in the Moby for all the other errands. Everywhere he goes he makes new friends. People love to look at him and coo at him. He always obliges with a smile. I never get tired of hearing strangers tell me how cute my baby is!

Now, on to the packing. So far it's been coming along quite well. Better than I had anticipated. Selling furniture has helped make the space look more open and less messy. Though the pile of boxes in the middle of the living room makes the room look full still. Hopefully in the next week we'll have people buy the loveseat and our table and chairs. That will just leave the TV stand for larger items.

More to say, so much more to say, but baby is hungry.

The Woe of the Watermelon

First full day of living like a single-mom... and I almost miserably fail!

I know how careful you have to be with infants. Yes, they are resilient... but only to a certain extent. I know you watch their necks, even after they can hold their heads up on their own. I know not to leave them unattended on a couch or a bed or the changing table etc. I know to be careful when using toys like a jumperoo etc because fingers often end up where fingers aren't meant to go and then said fingers get pinched etc.

But... today I almost failed miserably. It could have been fatally, even. (but honestly, every accident with children could have potentially been fatal)

So... I was skyping with Grammy and Papa to show them just how much Jack likes watermelon. We were chatting about if I had been able to talk to Matt since he left. All the while I'm feeding Jack a little piece of watermelon. Now, Jack does not have teeth. So he is really just gumming the watermelon. It's cut up and on a fork.

My mom suddenly says something along the lines of, "Is he ok?" I look down and he's still chomping on watermelon... separate.from.the.piece.on.the.fork! He had chomped off a piece of the watermelon and was munching away on it. He had that look in his eyes of, "This wasn't a good idea!" that he gets sometimes when he bites down on a toy or his finger. He wasn't turning red or anything, but I had a minute of horror where I thought he was about to choke on the piece in his mouth.

I quickly turned him around and wiped out his mouth with his burp cloth. I got a lot of the watermelon juice but he was still making that face and making the chewing motion. I could feel him breathing, but I still wanted to be sure. I began patting him on the back like I was burping him to help him swallow or spit up any pieces that might get stuck. He still chewed away. I wiped the inside of his mouth with my finger back and forth and back and forth. And back and forth again for good measure. I felt fairly far back in his mouth to feel for pieces of watermelon, but felt none. I patted his back again, harder this time. He didn't like that. I know I didn't hurt him, but I'm sure he didn't understand why the yummy watermelon was taken from him and why Mommy was doing all this. So he began to cry.

I took that for a good sign. A choking baby wouldn't be able to cry, right? So I scooped him up and put him on my shoulder for some snuggles. He calmed down immediately and we went back to life as normal. I gave him another little taste of the watermelon and he seemed perfectly normal again (not that he really ever was choking). I nursed him briefly (literally less than a minute) just to make sure all the stray pieces were swallowed and we were back on track.

But... there was the tiniest piece of watermelon that had been in his mouth. It was smaller than the circumference of a dime and thinner than a manila envelope. It was less than the width of my baby fingernail. So very, very small. That piece could easily have been larger. Large enough to get lodged in my baby's throat. Large enough for him to choke on. Large enough to block his airway.

I got caught up in my conversation with my mom and I assumed Jackson would be ok chewing on the watermelon. Watermelon is a soft fruit that breaks away easily. I should have known better. I wasn't paying the necessary attention to my child and it could have been a disaster. Instead, I was blessed and Jackson was not choking and I was just over reacting.

But... it could have been so different.

Lesson 972 of parenthood: Don't take solid foods for granted with an infant! Or a toddler, or a young child, or a grown human being!

Solid foods can get the best of an of us! People choke on food all the time.

Sigh. Calm self. Slow heart rate. Watch the baby when he's eating watermelon.

Anyone else had a near-death-but-not-really experience with his or her little one?

The Weight of Parenthood

I shared devotions in my team meeting at work today. I was supposed to create a devotions schedule last week to send out to the team, but I forgot. So I prepared a devotion 10 minutes prior to the meeting based on my personal devotions. Thankfully, as I have stated before, the Word of God is living and moving. When he teaches me something I just can't help but share.

I have been reading in 1 Kings. I love the books of Samuel, Kings, and Chronicles, but I prefer not to read them back to back. A lot of the stories overlap and seem redundant. But there is so much to learn and so much history in those books. I'll get back to my reading in 1 Kings, but first a preface.

During my time at Liberty some speaker or teacher or pastor (after seven years as a student or staff member it all seems to blend together) referenced Exodus 34: 6-7 which says, "The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation." Stop and think of that for a second.

Example: King David. A man after God's own heart. How did his actions move the third and fourth generations?

First example, Bathsheba's child. We all know the story. David looked, David longed for, David took, David killed. Nathan the prophet visits David and says, "Because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die" and "on the seventh day the child died"(2 Samuel 12). David's adultery led to the premature death of his child. The iniquity of the father on the child.

Second example: Absalom. Absalom is one of David's sons. Absalom kills his half-brother Amnon. Absalom attempts to steal the kingdom from his father. In this attempt, Absalom wishes to kill his father. Absalom is killed by Joab, one of David's commanders. David hears of Absalom's death. Even though Absalom sought to take the life of his father, David cried, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son! (2 Samuel 18). David's son Absalom did not walk with God. David ceased to train his son in the ways of the Lord. The iniquity of the father on the child.

Third example, from my recent devotions in 1 Kings: Jeroboam. Solomon has taken many wives and concubines. Solomon has built the temple and his own palace. Solomon has turned from the Lord. The Lord is giving the kingdom to Jeroboam. The Lord says, "Behold, I am about to tear the kingdom from the hand of Solomon and will give you ten tribes (but he shall have one tribe, for the sake of my servant David and for the sake of Jerusalem, the city that I have chosen out of all the tribes of Israel)" (1 Kings 11: 31-32). Even though the kingdom was being stripped from Solomon, possibly the wisest man on earth, one tribe would remain in his power on behalf of his father David. David was a man after God's own heart. David was a friend of God. Because of David's steadfastness, Solomon's kingdom was not devoted to complete ruin. The blessing of the father passed on to the child.

Shortly after Jackson was born I began to feel the weight of spiritual parenthood. I am sure this weight will increase as Jackson grows and learns and develops cognitive thought. While it is not my responsibility that Jackson come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice and grace, it is my responsibility to teach Jackson of God and His love. It is my responsibility to be an example to Jackson of what the Christian life should be. It is my responsibility to train him in the ways of the Lord so that he will not depart from them when he is old.

Ummm... what?

How?

It is awfully humbling to know that over the next couple decades baby will be watching me and learning from me. He will notice all my good traits... and all my bad. What actions will he choose to mimic? When will he choose to mirror me? What will he repeat and to whom? Most importantly, how will he view God and appropriate acts of worship?

Deep breath. Take it one day at a time. Live so that my family history is one where God blesses my descendants "for the sake of Rebecca". Live so that my descendants will not turn away from the Lord, but will continue their family heritage of knowing Christ and making him known.

Returning to work for the nursing mother...

I dreaded returning to work after having Jack. I thought I would be an emotional mess every day until I was able to stay home with him.

Interestingly enough, I have yet to cry over missing him. I miss him so much throughout the day, but it is so reassuring knowing he is at home with his Daddy and that this is not a permanent set up. It has also been so much more enjoyable at work since I have a new position that helps me feel fulfilled.

I was worried about returning to work and keeping up with his eating schedule. As he grows he will only eat more and more at each meal. At my office we have a lactaction room for nursing mothers to use to pump breastmilk. We are scheduled to use this room twice a day. I wasn't sure if twice a day would allow me to continue my milk production to the extent Jack needs.

I look forward to my trips to this room as it is a little break from the daily grind, it is secluded so I have some alone time at the office, and it allows me to think about my baby and the fact that I am able to nourish him. Seems a little silly, but other nursing mothers understand. You get such satisfaction from being able to feed your child. If I am unable to nurse him then providing breastmilk for him is the next best thing.

Well, milk production certainly isn't a problem for this momma! I am so thankful my supply meets Jack's demand and then some! Every day I come home with enough milk for him for the next day and am able to save some in the freezer for future use. This is reassuring since I don't know if my supply will  begin to wane. Plus, when I am ready to stop pumping Jack will still be able to have some milk for a while longer.

When he is between 4-6 months old we plan to introduce solid foods. I am very excited to get a baby food processor to make our own baby food! So many fun options this way, plus it's cheaper! Between 12-18 months I'll plan to stop pumping and allow my milk to decrease. At this point I'll still plan to either give him 1 bottle a day of milk or mix it with his other drinks at that time.

All mothers should do everything in their power to take advantage of their milk while they can. It is free food, it is extremely beneficial for baby, and it helps take off those pregnancy pounds! I have always been a size 0, but my weight fluctuates around 15 or so pounds when I am not pregnant. Before finding out Jack was on the way I was at the high end of that fluctuation. Now, I do weigh less than pre-pregnancy, but more than that, My pants from pre-pregnancy are loose! I have pants that were too snug to wear in public pre-pregnancy that now fit with rom to spare around the waist! When I order new pants I order 0 petites so they fit well. Nursing/pumping puts the pounds on baby and takes them off Mommy! It's a win-win all around!

So many benefits to nursing. I don't understand when mothers choose not to. I am so thankful for this gift. I truly think of it as a gift. It draws me closer to my baby, helps our bank account (even though we probably over spend on all other things baby!), is super healthy for baby, and has helped me get into great shape post baby!

Things I miss:

Things I miss since having a baby:

*time to go to the gym
*doing the dishes in one go-round, I usually have to stop in the middle (or three times) because baby is fussing
*doing the laundry/ putting laundry away in one go-round
*sleeping through the night
*watching a movie without occupying baby so he doesn't watch the screen
*being able to blog whenever I want
*painting nails without being rushed (since Daddy has baby)
*taking a long shower
*giving attention to the kitties
*having normal boobs
*reading before bed- baby likes to bed held even once he's asleep and it's hard to read without disturbing him


Things that make up for the above list (in corresponding order):

*Nursing taking off all my baby weight plus some
*Having enough dishes that we don't have to do the dishes every night to eat
*having a husband who doesn't mind living out of laundry baskets!
*waking up to nurse my son- such an amazing experience
*playing with my smiley baby (much better than any movie)
*fast typing speed (approx. 70 wpm) to make the most of the free moments I have
*a husband willing to occupy baby while I have some "girly" time
*finally having a reason to shorten my morning prep time- I spent entirely too much time "beautifying" before, time to be a little less vain
*Emily not peeing on things and taken the transition to home with a baby well
*being able to nourish my son
*snuggling with my sleeping son- nothing in the world compares


Most changes in life come with pros and cons. I'd say that this whole "parenthood" thing comes with way more pros than cons. This is just a new stage of life. I am adjusting to my new schedule and my new responsibilities. I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. Being a mommy is much more fulfilling than being a free agent. Being a wife is fulfilling as well, but that is a more equal relationship- Matt and I work together in that relationship. Being a mommy requires so much more selflessness as Jack requires so much more attention and relies on Matt and I for everything. He does give us satisfaction, joy, and love... but that is non-purposeful.

One big pro: I have an amazing partner to go through parenthood with. Matt is such an amazing Daddy and he is willing to make sacrifices for our son and family. I am so thankful he is my husband and baby daddy!

Tough love

Nothing worse than listening to your baby cry in the next room. It's feeding time and I'm leaving him with Daddy and a bottle. Next Monday he will no longer have the option to fuss about the bottle until Mommy gives in and lets him nurse. Tomorrow I have to go into the office for a phone conference. Friday I have to go into the office for an event for a couple hours. Baby will need to take a bottle during those times or he will starve.

He has taken a bottle in the past week without fussing and without even dribbling down his chin. So he is able to eat from a bottle. The milk is freshly pumped so I know it's not stale etc. He just prefers to nurse, which makes me feel good, but also will be problematic if he doesn't stop being so particular.

It's very sad to listen to him cry (for 15 minutes now) when I know he just wants me and is hungry. Tough love. I know it'll be far worse next week if we don't get him used to bottles now. I know he'll get hungry enough and eat from the bottle. I know he's not starving since he eats every 2-4 hours. I know he's in good hands with his Daddy.

Sigh. I hope that once I return to work the evenings and weekends will be a special time for Jack and I as we will be able to nurse. I hope that once Matt leaves for Basic Jack won't be too old to nurse (too old by my standards. I don't plan on extended breastfeeding).

He's still fussing a little, but I can tell he's gotten a few good slurps from the bottle. He quieted down for a bit but is fussing again. Just him letting us know that this isn't what he would prefer. Poor baby. I am just thankful that I have a patient husband, a healthy baby, a good milk supply that doesn't need to be supplemented with formula, and a work environment that allows nursing mothers to pump throughout the work day. So many things to be thankful for in this specific situation.

7 Weeks

Jack is 7 Weeks old today! Time does fly with an infant! I can hardly believe he will be 2 months old next week! As always, it seems like he just got here... but on the other it's hard to remember life before him. Having free time... and spare time. Getting a full nights sleep. Having time to do my nails. Having use of both my arms 24/7. 

This week Daddy fashioned a play yard for Jack. I was busy reorganizing our closets (I got rid of 3 very full garbage bags of clothes!) and needed something to occupy Jack. We brought up his hanging animals from the pack n play and attached his light up mirror. He was content in here for about 1 hour chunks! I'd call that a success.

He loved looking at himself and all the lights around the mirror. This mirror was supposed to go in the car but we realized that neither of our back seats has head rests. So... nothing to attach the mirror to in the car. It's ok, it will occupy him during play time.

I brought home quite a few books (see next pictures) from Michigan. Daddy has been reading through them with Jack. Jack actually looks at the pictures while he reads.

What happens when you go to Michigan and two Grandmas are there? Over supply of baby clothes! But, we will surely use them all! Jack has begun sweating (yes, sweating!) through outfits and sleepers. Makes for a lot of laundry for Mommy. We got outfits for a variety of ages, some bibs, hats, blankets, bath stuff, and I was able to bring home another handful of diapers too. Now we are able to cloth diaper around the clock instead of having to use disposables every once in awhile. We still have some disposables for backup.

Two of Jack's little friends came to visit. Carter is on the left and Avani is on the right. Their mommies brought dinner for Jack's Mommy and Daddy. They served us and then did the dishes! I am so blessed by amazing friends. We also talked plenty about babies- how different life is with them! These girls are part of my "wives group". We began talking about marriage and now we're talking about pregnancy and babies!

Here are all the books I brought home from Michigan! I knew I had saved my children's books somewhere. My parents made me go through my storage boxes in the basement and clear them out. I got rid of a ton of stuff. There's two whole tubs full of pictures and notes from elementary school! I didn't want to go through all of them so they just stayed in the bins for now. But I did bring back all the books I could find. My favorite childhood book was "But No Elephants". I couldn't find that. My mom thinks it might be in one of her boxes. Oh well, I suppose I can always buy a new copy anyways. That one was probably real old and rundown.

Here is Jack's 7 Week picture. He is growing up so fast! He can hold his head up on his own when he wants to look at something. But generally he's still pretty content lying his head down or against something. He's definitely getting stronger though. I put away his newborn onesies and sleepers yesterday. He can still fit into the onesies, but I figured I'd give him some more wiggle room. Plus he hates getting dressed/undressed so the extra room in the neck and arms help with that process. I got him to smile right before this picture, but by the time I clicked the camera it was gone. He just stares at the camera when I raise it. I think he knows it means "BRIGHT FLASH" so he stops smiling. But he still is the cutest baby ever!

My weekly emails from pregnancy have continued for Baby email updates from The Bump and What To Expect. This week they said would be a good time to introduce a rattle. So... baby's first rattle! He didn't think too much of it, but we'll work on it. He already has a pretty strong grip. I'm just worried he'll whack himself in the face with it! He punches himself quite often.

Jack continues to be a very warm baby. He sweats constantly. I'm thinking about starting him on a bath a night routine. Maybe this will help soothe him to sleep? He gets so warm, sweats through his diapers and clothes, and then "smells". Matt says he can't smell it, but it is a very distinct sweaty milk smell. I am so used to smelling milk all the time now that this new scent is probably stronger to me than anyone else. I hope Jack doesn't always have this problem. I often get very warm at inappropriate times and it is definitely not a trait I wish on my children. 

Jack also has had some build up in his cheeks. At first we thought it was his thrush coming back, but I noticed that it looked different. I started washing out his mouth every day with the little thumb brush that came in one of his first aid kits. Didn't seem to help. I then began to brush his cheeks and tongue with a baby toothbrush once a day. Didn't seem to help. Today I scraped along his cheeks with my finger and chunks of little white gunk came off. I assume this is just milk that gets lodged in his cheeks. Thankfully, it comes out and no harm is done. 

Some things I've learned about parenthood (some of these are from when he was smaller, but I'll want to remember them later): It's easier to have blankets, burp clothes, and a paci in every room instead of carrying the same set back and forth. At Easter time I was thinking about how we are all God's children. It made me thankful anew that Jesus came to earth and died for humanities sins now that I have a son who needs that redemption. It also made me understand further the sacrifice God made in giving his son. I know that it is ok to give him to Daddy so I can take a nap. At first I felt guilty for wanting some me time. But I understand that if I can get a nap in between feedings I am much better able to care for him other times. We haven't set Jack on a schedule yet and don't plan to for awhile. He's been setting his own schedule and it seems to be working just fine. He sleeps during the day and night, but also has a lot of waking time during the day. He feeds every 2-3 hours and is pretty regular on that. He is gaining weight now so I'm not too worried about his feedings. The cats are much lower priorities in my life now. I never thought it would be true, but if we had to get rid of them I'd be ok with it. I'd be sad, sure, but it'd be ok. I wouldn't cry for days. I hope we don't have to get rid of them... but we'll see what happens after Matt leaves for training. My diapering/dressing speed has definitely gotten faster. It never took me too long to do either of these, but I can (literally) do this in my sleep now. Matt was surprised once when I took Jack into the nursery to change him and I came out rather quickly. He said, "Don't you need to change him?" I said, "I already did!" I have made up some silly songs to sing to Jack during the night to soothe him. Now that he's bigger we do other things at night to occupy him. But when he was a newborn I would sing to him.

Lyrics: What a Good Baby Jackson is, What a Good Baby Jackson is, What a Good Baby Jackson is, He is such a good baby. What a Good Baby Jackson is, Yes he is, Yes he is, What a Good baby Jackson is, He is such a good baby. Mommy and Daddy love you, Mommy and Daddy love you, Mommy and Daddy love you, what a good baby Jackson is.

Mommy Update: I was sick on Sunday, my first Mother's Day. I'm calling a Mulligan. Daddy was sick today. So later this week we'll celebrate Mother's Day. I am, however, back to my pre-preggo weight! Cause for celebration! This week I also noticed that when Jack nurses it no longer "hurts". I figured out I had a clogged duct, which didn't make nursing easy. That has cleared and everything else seems to have gotten used to the process of nursing. Another reason to celebrate!

6 Weeks

Jack is 6 weeks old today! My little man! He is definitely starting to act like a little boy and not a baby. Ok, so that might not be completely accurate, but it sure seems like it! 

Here's the little man. He's in 0-3 months clothes now. He can still fit into newborn onesies and pants, but this gives him a little more space and are so darn cute! Or... doggone cute! 

Feeding: Jack still eats every 2-3 hours. In the afternoons he likes to cluster feed, which takes up a lot of time for mommy. It's ok though, I love spending extra time exclusively with my little buddy. I figure when I return to work we'll be just bottle feeding him during the day, so I should take advantage of all the nursing time I get now. 

Sleep: At night Jack primarily sleeps when he's not eating. He eats every 2-3 hours at night. Thankfully, no cluster feeding then. I've been trying to get him to sleep in his sleeper more. We're up to about half the night in the sleeper and the other half with me. I know it's horrible, but it's what works for us.

1 Month appt: Jack had his 1 Month appt today. It was a little late since we were in Michigan (again, posts and pictures to come). Jack weighs 9 pounds and 15 ounces, the 50 percentile. So almost 10 pounds, big boy! It's so good that he's gaining weight and able to nurse now. I can definitely tell that he's gaining weight. It gets harder to hold him after a shorter period of time. Nothing a pillow under the elbow won't fix. He's still such a snuggler! He is now 22 inches long, so he has grown 1.5 inches since birth, in the 74 percentile. I still can't believe he was inside of me! I am surprised I don't feel "lighter". His head circumference is in the 75 percentile, but it's seriously the most perfect baby head shape. Such a little round ball. He is such a perfectly sized baby boy.

Speaking of his size, he has such chubby little thighs now! I call him a little chunk, but my sister says he's still a string bean. I guess I'm comparing him to when he was born, but don't know how he compares to other babies. His upper arms are rounding out too. I love the little chubs. Daddy loves his buddha belly.

Mommy stats: My muffin top is gone! Woohoo. I bought a new sports bra (running with these new girls? Yowza!) so we'll see if I continue running or just go back to my typical workout on the elliptical. It's nice to be back to my normal size without having to work at all at it. Nursing is amazing! The head and neck surgeon (we had a follow up appt today. everything is healing up fine) said that nursing "puts the pounds on baby and off mommy". So true! Unfortunately, I still have some work to do. My abs are almost entirely gone. Have to build up that core again. While my muffin top is gone, I still want to flatten out that middle more. Enter the cardio. I also am 6 pounds away from my pre-preggo weight. Should be cake. I have my postpartum dr. appt on Wednesday, but I'm pretty sure everything is healed up just fine. 

Parenthood: It has been such an amazing journey so far. Jackson is teaching me so much. I have always struggled with patience, but he pulls it out of me. He brings me more joy than anything else ever has. He teaches me to appreciate the man his Daddy is and the man I hope he grows into. He teaches me all about little boys, with some help from Daddy. The phrase, "Matt... is this supposed to do this..." may or may not have been part of our diaper changes. I also now understand when other moms only post on their blogs every so often. It's hard to get time to put the baby down and get on the computer (for instance, this post has been written in bits and chunks as the baby is calm). I also realized that I often go hours before going to the bathroom or eating. There are days when I think, "Huh, I didn't eat lunch today... or breakfast...". Now, our baby may be spoiled since he's hardly ever set down... but I certainly don't mind snuggling with him! I do need to start putting him down during the day and night so he gets used to being on his own. 

We've been cloth diapering. It has been so much easier than I anticipated. Matt has been surprisingly on board with the whole process as well. We are still using the xs/newborn diapers and are eagerly anticipating him fitting into the Bumgenius onesize diapers. He probably can fit now, but I want to get the most use out of the smaller ones as possible. We have a sprayer on the toilet to knock off the poo and then do the wash every other day. His diapers haven't leaked too often. The few times he's leaked it was our fault for leaving him too long or it was before he chunked up and was too skinny for the diapers. He is a very sweaty baby so he normally soaks his onesie right above the diaper, but it's definitely not pee or poo juice. 

And... the end of the post. Baby has been fussing off and on. So it's now time to devote my entire attention to him. Love him!