Friday, June 08, 2012

... but I don't want to

Yesterday was a full day! It was Matthew and my 4th wedding anniversary. Later tonight I plan to post about Grammie and GrandPops' visit this past weekend and our anniversary.

As I was settling down for the night, baby asleep in his sleeper next to my bed, I glanced at my Bible on my night stand and thought about how tired I was. I literally thought, "Too bad, God. Tomorrow I'll do my devotions, I promise." I amazed myself at that statement. I was shocked. Had I really just thought that? I went back and forth two times about staying up the extra minutes to do my devotions. I knew I that after that statement I had to (plus I should regardless).

It's amazing that reading my Bible feel like a chore some days. Whenever I read my Bible it lifts me up and gives me hope. That is the point of the Gospel after all, right? I figure that on days where I just don't want to spend the 15 or more minutes reading I really need it the most.

I read this section last night that is a favorite of mine:

If you prepare your heart, you will stretch out your hands toward him. If iniquity is in your hand, put it far away, and let not injustice dwell in your tents. Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish; you will be secure and will not fear. You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away. And your life will be brighter than the noonday; its darkness will be like the morning. And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security. You will lie down, and none will make you afraid.

Job 11:13-19a

I had highlighted that passage in early college. So much goodness in those words. Like I said before, it was just what I needed. I need to get off my selfish high horse and act in obedience to my Lord. In college Matt said once (in reference to not wanting to wake up for See You At The Pole), "What if Jesus said He was too tired to wake up the morning He was crucified?" That has always stayed with me when I am feeling like a "lazy Christian". The saying, "He died for you so live for Him" is so entirely true.

This passage also spoke to me about the changes in my future. We are hopeful that Matthew will be selected for the Army OCS. This means that in the next year our lives would change drastically. There is so much unknown in the military life. If this is our future then I think a good family verse would be "And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security." Wherever we may be: home, work, school, deployed... we can always rest in the hope of the Lord. My brother-in-law is currently in Afghanistan. This truth applies to our trepidation during this time with him away. The Lord is watching over him and his family back home. That thought alone is enough to provide peace.