Saturday, January 21, 2012


I am an introverted person and really have no desire to be extroverted. It seems like a lot of work and energy. I have been blessed with wonderful friends and thoroughly enjoy spending time with them. But, I do not enjoy being in large groups of people. Most of the time I would rather spend a quiet evening at home reading a good book. To some, this existence sounds boring. Well, when I look at my extroverted friends I find that extremely stressful. Isn't it interesting how different people are?

Well, tonight I was able to have dinner with a dear friend. We then came back to my house to watch a girly movie. Like I said, I have blessed with wonderful friends. It is so refreshing to spend time with close friends. So often I allow myself to get too introverted. It is a lot better now that I'm not in school, but I can imagine it will only get more difficult once baby comes. All I'll want to do is stay at home and snuggle! But... I would also love to share baby with others... so if they want to come over then maybe it will all work out fine.

Tomorrow I am having coffee with another dear friend. I had some errands to run on that side of town so it works out perfectly. As I am more introverted, I prefer having good conversation rather than exciting experiences. I am also a Quality Time, so this makes perfect sense. Thankfully, my friends know I enjoy good conversation and am not big into parties with groups of people or going out to clubbish places.

On the other hand, isn't it interesting that I used to sincerely want to be a professional cheerleader? I also thought I would definitely be in a sorority and end up living in NYC. Funny how things change over time. In high school I was extremely confident and I thought I knew what I wanted in the long term for my life. Of course, I didn't realize how small my world was at the time. My junior year of high school I had my heart terribly broken (seems kind of silly when you think that I was 16-years-old... but the boy who broke my heart ended up being my husband. I knew I was in love with him even then!) and that began the changes in me. My senior year I was much more reserved and I think I started being a slightly nicer person. Slightly nicer, because I was still very plastic. By the time I got to college I had become rather shy and definitely introverted. I had to psyche myself up for about 1 hour before leaving my dorm room and going down the hall to try to make some friends... true story. By this time I had been dating the same boy who broke my heart for about 8 months. I had to divide my time between my new friends and my boyfriend. I participated in my dorm and had a great freshman year. Each year after that I started choosing more and more time with my boyfriend/fiance than in dorm activities. By the time we were married I loved having nights in with my new husband. From that point forward I was a homebody.

Sometimes I feel like I miss out on life. But I also thoroughly enjoy the life I have. It's strange to think of the girl I thought I would be at this point in my life. Let's see, I'm 24 now. I would have still graduated college, but my sights were set on Columbia University. I would have done my junior year abroad at Oxford if possible. I would have gained an internship at the New York Times for my senior year and continued that internship for the year after graduation. Hopefully by this time I would have a good position at the paper, working my way up. Goal would be senior staff writer by 30 and editor by 35. Or... midway through college I would have attempted to try out for a cheer team. Not sure which one, but the end goal would be the Cowboys. Of course, this would depend on how journalism school went. A serious student cannot be distracted by cheerleading. As it is, I took one year as a journalism major and knew it wasn't the route for me. I ended up getting the standard M.R.S degree without meaning to. But it is perfect for me! I never thought I would be 24, expecting my first baby, and hoping to be a stay-at-home mom! When I was young I told my eldest sister, "I can't believe you're 20 and not married!" But, once I got older I realized that 20 may be too young for marriage if I wanted to work for the Times. Then what did I do? I got married when I was 20!

Kind of a jumble of thoughts. But it's funny how life changes. Thank the Lord for excellent friends for sanity. Thank the Lord for d0-overs when we go down the wrong paths in life. Thank the Lord for his never ceasing mercy and grace.

Also, thank the Lord for my husband, Matthew. He is perfect for me and I cannot wait to see him raise my son.

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