Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Not in the depths of despair

I woke up this morning and the first thought I had was "that doesn't sound like a Howie Day song???"... I always wake up to Howie Day. Such a great way to start off the day! But my kittens must have stepped all over the iHome and changed the play point on the iPod. Yes, they really do this. The second thought I had was "I do not feel... despair!" It was incredible. Not only to put an official title, a fitting word that is the exact description of the funk I've been in, on my bad mood... but to be free of it! God is good. I spent some time in prayer and meditation and God answers prayer. Period. So I am having a splendid day. My phone calls at work haven't even been as pleasant as the past few works days when I was in a bad mood, but it doesn't matter because I am joyful. It is amazing the complete change. I feel bad for my attitude recently, but I've tried to not be completely horrible. Matthew bore the brunt of it, as usual. That's the difficulty with living with someone. But he is amazing. He even bought me white roses for no reason at all. They are beautiful. Truly. He's never gotten me white roses before but they are so... simple. I love them.

Now with that despair, I then immediately thought of two things. 1) Pilgrim's Progress 2) Anne of Green Gables. I haven't completely read Pilgrim's Progress in years. I should re-read that. I have a very nice copy from my Dad's library. I stole quite a few gems like that from his library. I don't think he minds though!

I am currently reading "Xenocide" by Orson Scott Card. I always forget his genius until I re-read one of his novels. I am trying to re-read them all in order for both Ender and Bean. I think I like the Bean books better overall. More action. But the Ender books are much more... emotional. I wish we could name our children Ender and Valentine. But that would be a little too... you know. But we will name our future pups that! Unless if we cave and don't care what the world thinks. Maybe when baby number 1 comes we'll decide he simply must be Ender or she simply must be Val! If you haven't read Ender's Game, please go buy it right now! Best book. Well, I like Ender's Shadow better... but you should read Ender's Game first.

I am trying to lose 20 pounds. Truly 10 would be healthy. 15 would give me confidence. And 20 would mean I was back to my weight when I was a cheerleader. So my goal is 20 but when I shed a few pounds we'll see how I'm feeling. I weighed myself yesterday and I had lost three. With some minor adjustments to diet (no between meal snacking and halving my portions) and going back to the gym regularly (yeah, I kind of stopped when we moved because we were so busy... and then just never went back... bad) I should be able to shed the pounds pretty quickly. I'm going to the gym today after work with Matthew. I'm also doing my Pilates video on days I can't make it to the gym and hopefully finding some other good videos to have at home since my work schedule doesn't always coincide with gym times. Matthew needs to get in ridiculous shape to prepare for the military so we can keep each other accountable. He has continued to go to the gym the whole time though.

Military: We haven't made any final decisions yet but we are leaning to one area. Please continue to pray as we finish out this process and begin our new life. There are so many factors we need to consider and so many unknowns. I need to learn to be more flexible. We need to figure out housing for me while he's in training. We need to figure out my grad school situation and finishing my program. And then there's baby issues. Just to name a few. Those are the ones that are top on my priority list right now. All the other aspects pertain more to him. Sigh. At least we have a tentative plan for right now. Just waiting for God to give us the go ahead. So far so good though.

The end for now.

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