Saturday, June 05, 2010


I have the interesting gift of remembering most of my dreams after I wake. There are the times when I wake up suddenly and know I was dreaming something interesting and exciting, but it's just gone... but for the most part I remember the oddities of dream world quite well. I used to keep a journal of them, but since dreams rarely make sense and often have occurrences such as "and then so-and-so became so-and-so and the place we were at transformed into this new place" it isn't usually as interesting to read later as one might expect.

One dream I have had recently could classify in the "amusing nightmare" category. I was back in high school. This dream has cured me of my love of high school. Yes, I always knew there was much drama in high school and I remember how sad and depressed I would get sometimes because "my friends liked their other friends better" or "HE just doesn't care that I exist", but overall I think back on high school with mostly fond memories. Well, until now. I think my handicap was the fact that I was in an extreme comfort zone. Or what I thought was a comfort zone. Anyways, we were back in high school and some really random people were there. It was probably sophomore year but it was the very end of the school year because we were making plans for next year. We were the people we are today, strange. So I was wandering down the hall and I see that this one friend of mine had painted this mirror (a mirror I currently own) this wretched shade of... putty? That's the only way I can describe it. Now she had been painting this in the old school kitchen, I don't even remember what it became after the cafetorium was built. So I was walking by and I could not believe she would do that because it was mine and I had big plans for it! I was going to use it for cheerleading, of which I was reigning captain and didn't plan to relinquish my title anytime soon. I confront said friend and we argue for a bit. It was very dramatic. She said she was going out for cheer that year and planned to gain captainship. Not happening because she had zero experience, zero leadership qualities (which I also did not have), zero talent unfortunately, and zero relationship with the other girls. Now, if you know me, I would have been devastated in high school if I wasn't chosen as captain any given year for cheerleading. It was always a fear of mine. So this rattled a lot of my nerves. I eventually told her that none of that mattered and the mirror was mine, bought with my own money, so even if she did miraculously gain captainship she would not have the use or ownership of the mirror. We stomped up to the mezzanine where some of our other friends were having lunch. Here sat two guys that I have been friends with in the past, but both left our school freshman year. We asked for their assistance. One was extremely obnoxious and rude and hurt my dream feelings. It wasn't so much what he said or did, it was the fact that in my dream I was remembering how super sensitive I was. I would always read into every little thing and make elaborate scenarios based on something someone said, which didn't have anything to do with anything. The other was his typical self. He was neutral because he just didn't really care all that much. He was popular and no one really knows why. Well, he was nice and "cute". But not as much personality. There were other details, but basically when I woke up I was all excited and was so thankful I was no longer in high school. That dream painted a very good picture of how high school truly was for me, but on this side of life I see just how ridiculous that all was. So I no longer live in the past thinking how great high school was and wishing I could go back. Part of it might be that I've made great new friends so I can let go of the high school friends I always compared everyone else to.

I had another dream last night. I was in my parents old house on Hunters Run. We were having some kind of family gathering but both of my kitties were there. So was Maddie, my old cat who now lives with my aunt. I remember earlier in the dream seeing my cats wandering around outside but not really thinking anything of it. I was going to the restroom in my old bathroom when I saw Emily and Maxie in the woods outside! I freaked out! They are inside kitties and if they ran away I would never see them again! Plus they were in Michigan! Since they don't go outside here I didn't know what difference that would make, but if we didn't catch them I would never see them again and they wouldn't be able to find their way home! I run outside with my dad. Thankfully, they were just playing together and not intent on running away. I caught Maxie pretty quickly. He was stuck staring at a beautiful white kitten (Joyce from Milo and Otis actually). I caught Maddie too, as she was sitting on this big rock and didn't care about anything else. My dad caught Emily who didn't know what to do so she just lay down. We brought them back inside and the crisis was averted. I woke up worried that my cats had run away. But they were both there in my room when I awoke to calm those fears. If my cats did get outside I would probably have to take a sabbatical from work. I would be SO sad.

Yeah, it happened again. These dreams aren't nearly as interesting when written down. Why does that happen?

Today I need to do my reading for my class and take my quiz. All other homework for the week is done. I'll probably start formatting my annoted bibliography though since I already have most of my journal articles. I thought we only needed 10, but thankfully I found 18 and decided to save them all and choose 10 later. Well, we need 20. I have one on the same subject for an article critique we had to do this past week so I'll use that. And then I only have 1 more to find. Then to citing and describing the main points of each. Oh joy. I might straighten up the house a little. When Matt comes home we'll put together the guest bed and try to organize that room a little to determine how much extra room we have and what other furniture we might buy for it. And then, hopefully he and I can watch one of our new movies together (UP, The Princess Bride, The Neverending Story, and Underworld: Evolution on Bluray) and either go out to dinner or order a pizza. This is anniversary weekend! We're not doing anything super exciting because he has to work today and tomorrow and I have to work Monday, which is our actual anniversary. But we don't need to take a fancy trip or anything. Literally, it's just one day. We will celebrate, but it's been 2 years. Seventy plus left to go! It feels like it's been 10 already. But in the good way.

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