memorable

I'm not a very memorable person, apparently. I'm not one of those people who goes out and makes new friends wherever I go. And it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to keep the friends I do have. But when those friendships begin to fade away, it's like I was never there to begin with. There is nothing to miss since I've become a non-entity. My existence has become obsolete.

That sounds pretty depressing. Don't worry, I'm not depressed. This is just the same old story over and over and over again. A girl starts to wonder after awhile what she's doing wrong. It's beyond me. It truly is. I've even flat out asked someone about it specifically, and they said they didn't know what I was talking about. Apparently they didn't think our friendship was dead... Since we never talked or hung out or did anything even though I repeatedly opened the door to opportunity. This might not make sense because I don't want to give names or details. But the same basic situation has happened to me over and over again the past few years and it makes me wonder why my friends suddenly aren't my friends anymore.

If you know what I'm doing to repel people, please let me know. I'm at a loss. I'm a pretty nice person. Sure I'm not that witty and I'm definitely not outgoing. I prefer a small group to a large. And I'm not interested in certain pop culture things. But I like talking and knowing about each other's lives and laughing and remembering. I text, I facebook, I invite to my house. I make the effort. But it's always easier to overlook me. I've always been one of those "out of sight,out of mind" people. I'm easily forgettable. And I don't know why.

Yes, I'm sad. Judge me all you want for my emo post. I've tried doing other things but all I want to do is mope. Maybe I'm just too shy. Funny, if you told the kids I grew up with that I'm shy they would laugh and call you a liar. But that is what I have become.

Pity party over.