Encouragement

I fee like encouragement is such an important thing to have in your life. You need to have people around you who can encourage you and lift you up. Life is not generally easy and there are so many things that can bog us down. It's very difficult to put things in the proper perspective for yourself when everything seems to be crumbling around you.

I have been so blessed with the people I work with. They don't even know. One guy on my team leads devotions every day for the entire team. He puts a lot of thought into them and it is such a spiritual lift to have that. He goes to the team meeting at the beginning of each shift (so you always hear the devotion no matter when you work) and he gives us what the Lord has been teaching him. It has been such a blessing to me in my life. Somedays I get to work and i don't know how I'm going to make it through teh day. Thursday I felt on the verge of tears because I was going through a lot emotionally. This morning I didn't feel well and had a headache for most of the day. Some days I speak to a very irritable student and that gets me frustrated and since I am a sensitive person, I get emotional about that too. But these daily devotions really help put things in perspective. I am doing God's work, so to speak. I am there to minister to these students in any way that I can. God placed me in this work environment to help the students and to make their transition into online learning as smooth as possible. We all know computers are not man's best friend. Sometimes I swear that Satan himself inhabits specific computers at the most inconvenient times. It is a really great feeling when I have a student who starts out being extremely frustrated and about to quit school entirely and leaves the conversation renewed and refreshed and thankful for the work I do. It is not a glamorous job and it is often a thankless job, but those students who appreciate us make it worthwhile. And God has given me this position either way. Daily devotions really help keep my mindset on straight. So I am very thankful for that, for a work environment where we can have devotions, and for a boss who makes sure we have devotions every day. It has been a true blessing.

Sometimes I amaze myself at my immaturity. When we are hurt we often are selfish. I think I'm selfish 100% of the time when my feelings have been hurt. And selfishness is often paired with irrational-ness. So if you go back a few posts, you will see that I had my feelings hurt. And it really wasn't that big of a deal. Thankfully, I had a few good sympathizers that I was able to vent to who really helped me feel better. (Again, with the encouragement bit) And now that I've had a few days to calm down and reflect on the overall situation, I'm glad it's happened. It's helped me to sort out a few unresolved feelings, figure out how to harness in my reactions, and move on with life. It's difficult for you to understand when I don't want to give details. And I know how frustrating it is when blogs are like this. But basically, I learned from the experience and I suppose that made it worthwhile.

Sometimes I hate the fact that I'm shy. When I first meet people I say stupid things and I do even stupider things. I often act rude and closed, but this is all on account of my shyness. Once I get over that I become a much friendlier person! I've had to send out facebook messages to people apologizing for seeming so rude and explaining that I was overcome with shyness at the moment I saw/met them. I feel THAT badly about it when it happens! Because I'm not normally like that. Not at all. I mean, I'm not the nicest person in the world. Sometimes I'm downright cruel in an entirely ugly way. I'm working on that. But I'm not a cold person who doesn't enjoy meeting new people and making new friends. It's just difficult for me to take that first step. I have often found myself jealous of my dear friend, Savannah, who is the most bubbly person you can ever imagine! She makes new friends wherever she goes. We were in line at the bookstore once and she walked away with three new friends. I was standing there with her and I was obviously with her, but I couldn't bring myself to say more than my name. Shy. It's ridiculous. I miss Savannah, she is a great friend.

Speaking of Savannah, I don't like to think about her too much besides in fun memories for a brief moment. She is currently in The Philippines. She has been there a long time and she will be there for a long time. And I miss her terribly. Like a lot. More than most people miss other people. It's true. I don't think you would understand unless you know Savannah.

I also miss my Mabsy. A lot. It's funny because you'd think we'd get used to living 800 miles apart. And for the most part we have. When we finally live in the same state again it will be a good day! I feel like we won't really realize what we're missing until then. Best friends are like that I think.

And then my other friend in that category. Kristin is getting married next month. It's come very quickly. WE had her personal shower tonight. Fun. I hope my husband can come with me to the wedding. I will be very sad if he cannot! It would be a lonely trip indeed without him.

The end for tonight. I have to work tomorrow. I hate working on the weekends. But such is an office job. You work when they tell you too. I should find a different job. But not really. Because if you scroll up, you'll remember why my job is actually a blessing.