Wednesday, April 09, 2008

I shouldn't be allowed to watch Jane Austen, Anne of Green Gables, or read Christy Miller. All of which have the same effect on me. Mr. Darcy. Mr. Lefroy. Mr. Knightley. Gil. Todd. Such fanciful masters of the tales. And I find myself wishing after them. Why is it? Why are these men the longings of women's hearts? And my man is not all that different. Honestly he isn't. At first we had our differences. And then we had several barriers to work through. And then he chased after me, almost too late (only not truly). And now we are together. And he is wonderful. And I love him. Maybe I'll be the next Jane Austen or Robin Jones Gunn. I'll write the next novella of romance and love and passion. It's an idea. I always aspired to be a writer when I was young. It's a definite possibility.

So I learned an interesting truth today about one of my roommates. It helped me understand her better. No, I did not say helped me to like her better. Just to understand why she is the way she is. Why she doesn't respond to me. Why she seems to hate me. Which, I honestly think she does hate me. But ah well, only 31 more days of living in this blasted room. But anyways, I learned today that she is used to being treated like a princess by all around her. She is not used to having to share. She is not accustomed to not getting her way. Haha, sound kind of like me I suppose. But in an entirely different way. So now I know why she doesn't like talking to me about our room issues. I try to talk to her about when she is loud or when she is messy or when she doesn't allow me to sleep but she never seems to understand. That is probably part of the problem, but I also assume that she isn't fond of the idea of me asking her to change her ways. Well, sorry sweetheart, but in college you have to adjust. You have to grow up and learn to get along with other people. I learned that. My whole demeanor actually changed quite dramatically when I first entered college. I quickly became and introverted, shy persona. Not at all what I was in high school. Maybe I just became slightly more humble. The world no longer revolved around me, and it never did- as I so often liked to assure myself when I was young. So now I know why she has been slightly hostile to me. It would have helped to know this earlier in the semester. But ah well, too late to go back now. And it's too late to mend our pathetic excuse for a relationship. What is will be. And there's nothing I can do about it now. I can survive the last month of our living together. Then I will never have to live with another female roommate again. I don't think I ever want my children to share bedrooms. I want them to have their freedom. In college they'll get enough of having roommates. I guarantee I'll remember this experience for quite some time.

I have the opportunity to go to Korea this summer. All expenses paid. It's a tour that is going through the agency I was adopted from. I received a random email today from the social worker who was assigned my case way back when. It explained the trip and asked if I'd like to be included. Though normally this would be too good of an opportunity to pass up, I just can't go. Matthew would have to stay home. As newlyweds I would not be able to tear myself away from him so soon. It would pain me. I would miss him so much. It was horrible just being away from him over Spring Break! And I could talk to him at any time during the day then! No, this would not be a good choice for now. It's a shame, really. Someday I'll go. And Matthew will be able to make the trip with me. But that day is not meant to be in 2008.

I have registered for new dishes. It was a hard decision to switch. I loved the design of the old set. But I had to change for conveniences sake. These dishes will be thinner and much more durable and have a beautiful yellow floral design on them. Corelle, the best I am told. My mother has always used Corelle, my sisters use Corelle, Matthew's mom uses Corelle. It must be reliable. And I do like the new design. I suppose I can't complain. And I probably would be complaining when some of my dishes got little chips on the edges after a few washes. I am a pretty clumsy dish washer.

My dad is coming down next weekend to move me into the apartment. We're paying for storage until we actually move in. It will be fun. Although, it will feel a little odd having all of my things in Virginia with me. And when I return home in May it will feel awfully empty in the basement. I'm taking most of the furniture and then all of my junk. Oh dear. How lonely my home will feel. But it won't be my home any longer. That is the difference. Alright, enough talk of this. Before I become all mopey and sad.

That is my life. Pretty exciting right? No, I know. Just trying to be positive.

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