I am getting down to the home stretch. Only a few more semesters and I'm done with college! Where has time gone? And why did I think it was a good idea to skip a year of the best times of my life? Graduation is fast approaching. Yes, I still have a year left... but it's becoming reality that I actually am graduating early. It kinda makes me sad. Saying goodbye to the wonderful friends I've made. It's not like when I left home and went away to college. I can always go home and see those friends. It will be a little more difficult to see my college friends once I "settle down" and start my "life". We actually consider those days a "taboo subject". If we talk about it or even think about it too much down here... we become girls and start crying. And I love every minute of it!
I have been so incredibly blessed with the friendships I've made. I was a bit distraught that I didn't have more close friends from college when I sat back and considered my REAL friends. Friends I would stay in close contact with even after we part ways. I have no close guy friends. Sure, it'd be great to bump into them after I leave... but the chances of that are not very likely. But then I was reminded that a few close friends is more than most people have in their lifetime. I have made the most amazing set of friends I could ever ask for. In highschool I used to say that about the friends I made. What did i know in highschool? I thought "drinking was cool" in highschool and could't wait to get to college to do it. I've learned so much since then and am so thankful for the people who have been brought into my life the past year and a half.
It's Spiritual Emphasis Week at Liberty University. I admit, I had a bad attitude about going to the service tonight. I had other things I wanted to do... selfishly. But being on leadership holds some accountability when it comes to church services. And I am so glad there is! Nothing is more refreshing then God moving through a room full of teenagers and college kids. Several kids got saved tonight. What greater feeling than that is there? I could almost hear the angels singing in heaven! We didn't sound half bad ourselves when we praised God for the new brothers and sisters we received tonight. What an incredible feeling. There's nothing like it... truly. I have been thinking a lot about God lately. Well, in more specific ways than normal. He truly is my everything. I don't know what I would do without Him in my life. No, I do. If my God were not thinking about me every moment of my life, then I would simply cease to exist. Kinda scary to think about, huh? If God were to forget about me for even this . then I would just no longer be. We joke that when we are doing nothing we are actually doing a lot. We are being. We are existing. We are creating new cells to form our bodies each and every second of the day. Are these things great accomplishments? Could we do any of this on our own? In fact, do we do any of it at all? No. It is all God. He is orchestrating it all and He has such perfect and wonderful plans for the being and existing and cell reproduction that takes place in our lives every day.
I do not understand how people cannot love and serve our God. He gives and gives and gives when He shouldn't. No one is deserving of his love. I am completely undeserving. I do not even understand why He dreamt me up. From the very... no, not beginning, from all eternity He has seen me. He has loved me. He has thought about me and never given up hope for me. I continue to persecute and shame Him. I dirty the beautiful creation he has made. I rip it apart and do not give Him the glory He deserves. And yet he still always loves me. How does that work?
Life is good. I must stop complaining. That is my aim. I do not want to be a griper. I do not want to be negative. I want to praise God for everything. I praise God for the wind and the rain and the cold. I praise God for the bright sun and dark nights. I praise God for disasters and death and hatred. All these give me the opportunity to love Him and glorify Him all the more. I can rejoice because He has made me. I can give thanks because He has given me so many chances to love Him and to show the world love. If I loved how I should, who would I influence? Would I influence you? And who would you go on to influence yourself?
I am convinced that no one reads this. I even forget about it so why would anyone else spend the time on it? But it is such a refreshing feeling to write until I understand. To explain myself into perfect sense. My God is a God of order. He is THE GOD of everything. And He is my very best friend. What more could I possibly want?
I love you Lord.