I have begun writing this post many times the past week. But it always ends up being too boring to publish. We'll see if tonight is any different.
I am a night owl. It is determined. I always knew I wasn't a morning person, but that is mostly the "just waking up" stage. I like to get ready for the day quietly, no talking (unlike my early-rsier, chatty husband). Of course, this has changed with a baby. I wake up with him and talk to him immediately. Lots of big smiles and cooes for the baby... but if an adult talks to me while I'm talking to baby they will get an evil glare that translates, "Do you KNOW what time it is???"
I never thought of myself as a night owl because I do not like being out late at night. However, I am most definitely a night owl because I am almost always up right about now. It is rare that I go to sleep before midnight. You would think that working in the "real world" would have cured me of my late nights. Nope, coffee and after work naps. You would think that having a baby would have cured that. Nope, napping when baby naps. You would think that returning to work while having a baby at home would have cured that. Nope, wake up with a baby who needs attention, coffee upon reaching the office (since I discovered it doesn't keep Jack awake through my milk), stay busy while at work, dinner with family, short evening nap with baby.
So here I sit. Sometimes I read, sometimes I flip through magazines, sometimes I watch TV shows on hulu. I wish I could go to sleep at 9 or 10... sometimes I even go to bed at that time. But I am cursed to lie here until at least midnight. There are nights about once every 1-2 weeks when I just crash early and don't wake up until baby does. On weekends I still nap with baby throughout the day and skip the coffee. Maybe someday my body will determine it just needs more sleep. I used to sleep all the time. Sometimes I worried that I slept too much. Maybe I was just storing up for this season in my life.
Baby is sleeping in his sleeper next to my bed. I can feel myself winding down for the night. It's frustrating because I look at the clock and I would have 6 hours and 15 minutes before my alarm goes off (at 6 am). But... baby will most likely wake up at least once between then. Sigh. Body... time to shut down and go to sleep!