Slight Frustration, A little Venting, Overload

I'm feeling frustrated. I miss my kids at the preschool. I miss doing fun crafts with them. I miss cleaning up the mess that always comes when they want to paint. I miss them "helping" me cut out pieces for our projects but cutting up random pieces of paper. I miss their smiling faces. I miss them giving me hugs after they've had to sit in the thinking chair. I miss being a preschool teacher. I knew this would happen. It will probably happen several times throughout the next few years. 

It's not that my new job isn't good. I wouldn't say it is the perfect fit for me, but it definitely isn't something I'll dread every day. Definitely a positive. I have so much to learn and so little time to do it in. I fear not learning everything or forgetting something crucial and being let go. Now, I know the first few days I'm on the phones myself it's not like they're going to let me ruin someone's academic life or let me go for mistakes. I'll have someone sitting with me teaching me as I go to prepare me better for the next call. I got to sit in on some calls today which helped me understand some of the programs we've been learning about, but also confused me as I watched my operator maneuver through several different screens several times a minute trying to get everything settled for her student. So much to do. So much to learn. So many forms to fill out. Sigh. Yes, it makes me miss the preschool. I liked my routine. I loved my kids. It was a good fit. But this is much more necessary right now in our lives. And I have to put my family first. 

It's just really hard to think positively sometimes. I've been pleasantly surprised how upbeat I've been about this job so far. I thought the first week wouldn't go so well since I'd still be very emotional about leaving my kids and not seeing them everyday. But I've forced myself to keep all the positives in mind and try to just look back at my past as just that, the past. And as Phoebe says, "You can't be mad about the past! Are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase? Because it happened in the PAAAAST!" Or something along those lines. See, little things like that make me smile. And then it doesn't seem quite so bad anymore. I'm also having lunch with my wonderful friend, Kristin, on Friday. That will also be another benefit of this position. Since she lives on campus as a RD we'll probably get to see more of each other than we have in the past year. Definitely a bonus. I just need to suck up all my sour puss-ness and lean on the positive side of life. 

But it's hard sometimes. 

Sigh.