Lately I have been pushed into several aggravating situations. It has been interesting seeing my varying reactions to each. Throughout it all though, I have learned one thing about myself. I, Rebecca Eileen Iveson, am a thoroughly ignorant person!

That's right. Here I thought I had done so well in life up to this point. School work seemed to make sense for the most part, I graduated from college with honors, I can generally hold my own in mature discussions... but none of this really matters. It's interesting how small one can feel when one stands back and looks at the big picture. This is how my big picture has looked the past week: I am standing in one place looking all around. I see people of all different races, shapes, and sizes. I see people of all religions to varying degrees as each will have. I see the large number of self proclaimed Christians who each hold their own belief system that somehow is so different from one another. I see the lost and the lonely. I see fear and shame. I feel guilt and idiocy. I see pain. Pain is all around. That is the one thing we all have in common. I see struggles. I see loss. I see despair. I see many down turned faces with single tears clinging to eyelashes until one breaks away and streaks down a forlorn cheek. Pain.

Why does this make me ignorant? I may argue personal beliefs backwards and forwards, which has happened in the past week. I may air my grievances to family and friends, which has happened in the past week. I may suffer disappointments and unsurety, which has definitely happened in the past week. I may feel so sick of hurting that I sleep for 12 hours straight in hopes it will be better in the morning, which happened in the past 24 hours. But what about everyone else? Do I know and understand their beliefs, why they believe this, and how it affects their daily life? Do I understand their methods, their people group, their history? Do I even truly understand my own beliefs as I once thought I did? Do I understand the difficulties of my people group as a whole, or just my small portion of it? Do I know what is going on in the world around me and why? Do I know the pain of the smallest one and the hope of the aged? Do I know the ailments to the hospitalized or see the pain in the hopeless eyes of hunger and thirst?

I could go on forever with what I don't know. But these have all come to my attention very specifically. How can I truly expect to touch the lives of those around me if I don't open my eyes, listen with my ears, and feel with my heart? I think I often take the stance of "in one ear and out the other" when facts are brought before me. If it doesn't pertain to my personally I just let it slip by without notice. But then what?

I know, this doesn't make sense. Apologies. Basically, I am ignorant. I have so much to learn. And now, I have a new direction.

I wish the world would turn and see the beauty of their Redeemer.