Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sometimes I wonder if people find me boring. I am beginning to realize that in certain social aspects I am a bit of a retard. But thankfully, people have thus far been very gracious to me. Such as when I turn on the shy and decide I am going to stammer and forget my vocabulary words for the week. My sentences proceed to make no sense and the word get all jumbled together in the middle. Not a pleasant experience. But people are generally very patient and allow me to calm down and try again. Yes, me, a nervous wreck in everyday conversation! I amaze myself sometimes. But even with my friends, I am not a natural born adventurer. I am not a wild card. I am least of all a joker. I always wanted to be the Ace of the pack. But alas, I am the three of clubs. What?- you think. Exactly. The least thought about card in the deck. I am the wallflower (not the kind in the book I recently read either). I enjoy sitting on the sidelines and drinking it all in. I enjoy being included but also not being expected to participate fully, if that makes any sense. I get nervous in large... or small gatherings and prefer to just sit back and enjoy the show rather than be a leading lady. What spurned this on was my date with my good friend, Kristin, today. I met with her when we were both done with our churches. I went to her apartment and we had a delicious lunch. We sat around and talked for awhile and this was our date. This is what I enjoy doing with my friends. Sitting around and talking about anything and everything. I like having conversations, whether deep and meaningful or just light and bubbly. I like listening to other peoples views on things and offering my own. I am not all about the activity or a dance party or ultimate frisbie. I truly just enjoy talking. I think I would have been good at speed dating, though I never would have done that. But it would have been a fun time for me to sit around and talk to various people all night long. Does this make me odd? Or not "fun"? I need to participate more, I know. I am trying. I have changed so much since college. I think back to the final seven parties my final week of high school. The seniors had grown a habit of throwing the "final five" on the last five days of school before heading off to Colorado for senior trip. My class wanted to be different by having the final seven, we thought we were clever like that. I was all about the parties then. When we went to the lake I was running around in my black bikini and playing volleyball and diving off the floater. I was flirting with the guys I had been friends with for my whole life and made a point to say hello to all the girls there even if we weren't necessarily friends. I don't believe my college friends would believe me with this story. I have changed so much. How did it happen? I used to thrive on attention! Which "me" is better?

Anyways, I finished the Lovely Bones today. It was a good read. I'm sure I'll read it again sometime. I don't generally use libraries. I like to add to my collection, even if I don't end up liking the book. That happened in high school when I bought the House of Seven Gables. I should have known better, I'm not a Hawthorne fan. I think I'll give that one another try soon though. I'm figuring out that in high school I didn't truly understand a lot of the literature I'd read. I may have understood it enough, but now with a little more personal experience to back me up I think I'll understand the authors points much more clearly. Then again, maybe not. But I do plan on going back and re-reading all the books Pearson and Vanderkolk assigned to us. Well, almost all of them. Not Into the Heart of the Sea. I never could make it past the first chapter of that one! Anyways, I am now going back to the Anne Shirley books to where I left off. Anne of the Island, Book 3 is next. I already know I am going to love this one just because of the cover. At the end of the last book Gilbert expressed his feelings for Anne and Anne was just beginning to discover hers for him. Blossoming love... my favorite. On the cover of Anne of the Island it shows Anne in her typical form, gazing over the fields wistfully. Gilbert is drawn in the background as a smaller figure one hand in his pocket, the other holding his cap. He is staring at Anne. Anne of course, is in profile as she is looking to the side cover of the book. That picture itself tells so much. My heart starts pumping just by page 1. This will be an excellent read. I look forward to it.

I hope all of you find your Anne Shirley or your Gilbert Blythe someday, if you already haven't. And for those of you who have, I hope your love lasts you a lifetime.

Be a Kindred Spirit.

Rebecca Iveson

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