I need to work on something. I'm not quite sure what that something is just yet, but I'm sure it will become evident in the near future. I'm just lacking something. I can feel it.

So I think my ring is finally all done being tampered with. It may still have to be sized down a little, but that'll be ok. That won't take long. We had the center diamond replaced since there was a large black speck in the middle of it. I got to choose which diamond I wanted to replace it with. That was nice. And this one is bigger than the original! Always a plus. This ring is everything I could ever have wanted. It's perfect. I am not happy with Kay Jewelers and I won't recommend them to others, but I love my ring and all that it symbolizes.

I began my internship at Family Life Services Adoption Agency on Monday. I will be interning there on Mondays and Wednesday until November. It is pretty much amazing. I am so excited to begin meeting with clients and gaining insight and hopefully being able to shed some light on their stories by sharing my own story with them. On Monday I basically just got acquainted with the agency and ran some errands around. It was a little slow on Monday so not much to do. I got to meet with some of the birth mothers we're working with now. It was so interesting. Most of the girls are younger than me or my age and are planning on keeping their babies. Right now, if I ever would get pregnant I would probably choose to keep the baby also since Matt and I are getting married. But these girls are not in relationships with the fathers or anyone and they are pretty much going to be living by themselves with their new babies. Not the lifestyle I would choose for myself of my baby. I want to tell them that the RIGHT thing to do is to give the baby up for adoption. But that really isn't my job. I am to support them in their decision and prepare them for parenthood. Sometimes it's hard to though. I am glad I will never have to face that situation. I cannot even imagine life if I had to give up a child or raise a child at a young age.

I got so used to always being at Matt's this summer that it kinda just transferred over to this semester. I always go over there. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I feel like I'm being super exclusive. It's so hard though. Most of the time I'd much rather be with him than with a load of other people. I enjoy people's company but it's hard for me to make new friends. I get super nervous around new people, especially in large quantities of them at once. So I go to Matt's and we can watch movies or play games or read or something. It's familiar. It's nice.

Everything is beginning to work itself out. I am trying to grow up a bit more. I've realized I've been acting childishly towards my friends. Maybe not outwardly, but inwardly. I love them so much and I don't know what I'd do without them. I need to remember that during the hard times.

I miss last year. I do. I miss all the fun times. I miss taking pictures. I don't really miss the actual picture taking, but I miss all the opportunities we had for taking pictures. We had a great year last year. One I'll never forget.

Oh love.