Today was certainly not a good day in the history of the Ivesons. Well, at least for Mrs. Iveson. I think Mr. Iveson had a pretty fair day.

I had a bit of a disappointment/ discouragement a few days ago. Probably one of the biggest disappointments/ discouragements in my life to date. And I do believe that looking back on this time in seventy years, I'll still count it as one of my biggest disappointments/ discouragements. At least in my own personal life and issues. Death of friends and families not included since I had no control over those. In all fairness to myself, I didn't have a lot of control over this situation either. But it still feels like a big failure of mine. I know, I hate it when people write about vague things like this and don't give the whole story. But it's a little too personal and close to home to go into detail about. And you need to know how huge this was in my life to understand the next paragraph.

At first, I was proud of myself. I heard the bad news and was fine. A little sad, but nothing major. I knew life would go on. A few more days passed and everything still seemed normal. Then... oh then... today hit. I worked my way through the morning of school. I was patient with the kids and everyone else I came in contact with. I busied myself with stenciling with the girls in class to distract myself. Then I came home. Foul mood worsens. I refused to make lunch for my husband. I refused to clean the dishes. I refused to sit in the same room as him just because I was being stubborn. Then I didn't give him a proper goodbye when he left for work. I was feeling abandoned because I was feeling slightly depressed and he was leaving me for evening shift. I know this is not his fault, but it sure felt like he could have done something to fix the temporary problem of me being left to my lonesome all evening. I went to nanny in the afternoon and I tried not to get too aggravated at Peter. But good grief! He complained about being hungry so I made him macaroni and cheese. Then he took three bites and declared he was full. Now, he's old enough to get himself a snack if he needs a snack. But he wants me to make him a full meal when dinner is in a couple hours because he's starving and then he takes three bites? I sent him into the other room to watch TV and calmly put the leftovers away. I come into the room and he starts throwing this giant inflatable alien at me. Not lightly either. It soared through the air with surprising speed. Yeah, he learned real quick I wasn't in the mood to get hit in the head with an alien. Eventually he settled down to play his DS. But... oh but... he kept making this extremely loud clicking noise every time he lost his Mario Cart race... right... in... my... ear. I told him it was very loud and he stopped... for a minute. He has a very short term memory. Urg. Finally I was sent home. Yes, his mom was in the back room the whole time because school hasn't started for her yet where she teaches at a college. I came home and the kitten was being awfully needy. I fed her, she wasn't interested. I pet her, she just kept meowing like she was hurt. I picked her up, she jumped right back down. I don't know what she wanted so I just let her be. I got online and browsed ebay for awhile. I found lots of stuff I thought I liked and added it into my Watching... and then after a half hour or so I decided those things were just ok and not perfect. I need my things to be perfect if I'm going to go through the bother of bidding on them. So I'm back at square one.

One a brighter note, Matthew called and apologized for not being more considerate when he was home. He knew I was a bit distressed but he also thought I was being a bit ridiculous, which is truth, I am. But he wants me to be happy. So tomorrow we're going out. We're not sure what we're going to do but we're going out and we're spending time together and since I'm a quality time things will probably feel better. Today was just a very emotional day for me.

Sometimes I really hate how life works itself out. But I know, "all things work together for good for them that love the Lord... " in a sing songy voice from some movie we watched in Mr. Cox's class in fourth grade. This is just one of those valleys we go through sometimes. Ick.

Tomorrow I'll hopefully be seeing some of my best friends. Maybe I'll buy a new yoga mat since mine is wearing out and the kitty has been clawing it up. Maybe I'll finally find some new black shoes, I've been looking for some good winter dress shoes for weeks. Hopefully I'll be in a slightly better mood.

What a depressing post. Vanilla tea should make it better. I'll go brew myself a cup and settle into bed with a good book. Maybe that will cheer me up. Nothing's better than vanilla tea and a good book. Well, if my husband were home that would make it better. I hate evening shift. He was supposed to be done working evenings but they still put him on the schedule for one evening a week. Not fun.

Offings.