Fall Break. The first Fall Break Liberty has had in... well, I'm not exactly how long it's been. I've never had one. No one I've known who's attended here has had one. But this year, we're switching it up. We have Thursday and Friday off in October for a break. We still have a full week off for Thanksgiving. But we took off a week from our Christmas break... making it only 4 weeks long. Woe is us here on Liberty mountain. As if 4 weeks isn't long enough. (sense the sarcasm)

The campus is deserted. I am still here. I am working my regular hours on Friday and Saturday. Sure I could pick up a shift or two this weekend... especially tomorrow when I have nothing to do. But I won't. I need a break as well. I need some time to sleep in as late as I want and not have to worry about being anywhere at any particular time. Yes, tomorrow and Sunday will surely be nice. Tomorrow Matt and I are thinking about exploring the Devil's Marble Yard with his roommate and some old friends from good ole Dorm 11 (Matt's old hall). Neither of us has ever been but we hear it's a pretty cool place. We've become addicted to Survivor Man and Man vs. Wild, so we figure we should start to explore a little more of nature for ourselves. Since we're so equipped by Animal Planet and The Discovery Chanel now. (again, sarcasm included)

It is rather lonely. Having my two best friends go off together for the break. I was invited, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get off work. I took next weekend off to work a pre-adoption seminar for my internship. I'm really excited to go. But it still is yet another thing I'm missing out on this year. Oh growing up. How I despise certain aspects of it. I miss my friends. And I wish none of us had responsibilities so we could just spend lots and lots of time together. I don't know when that will be possible again.

I'm reading in Isaiah now. Again. I love the book of Isaiah. Most people find it a difficult read. Have you tried reading The Chronicles? I just can't get through Chronicles. Maybe it was my mistake to read it directly after having finished with the Samuels and the Kings. Yeah, it was probably my bad. But I enjoy Isaiah. It is so interesting. To see what Isaiah saw... and of course, it is not nearly as amazing. I am only imagining. I wish I could be a prophet. Only not really. That would make me very sad and afraid most likely. I am not cut out for the lifestyle. Not at all. Back to the topic. I am also reading one chapter out of proverbs a day for the month of October. Some do this every month that they can. Not for me though. I'm more of a Psalms kind of girl. Always leaves me feeling refreshed. But our campus leadership has been emphasizing the 31 in October... so I figured I'd give it a go. Hopefully it'll wisen me up. I need it.

Today I realized that this year is almost over. I have wasted most of it. I changed the verse at the bottom of this page to my theme verse for the year 2007. 2 Timothy 2:20-21. I chose this verse New Years Day and wanted it to be my goal. I wanted to put away my selfishness and my haughtiness and my feelings of entitlement and bitterness... and become a useful vessel for God in whatever way he chose to use me. And it has taken me this long to truly be satisfied with the place God has led me for this year. It has taken me this long to get over myself and realize that maybe, just maybe, God wasn't saying "no" to me, but He was simply saying "yes" to someone else. And I have been able to devote my time to my internship and my studies and my wedding planning which would have been a little unbearable if I would have taken on all that I wanted to. But one ministry closed and some other small ones opened up and I have not seen the blessings in my life until now. And that verse is so true in my life. I really have to work at staying positive in my situations. It has not been an easy semester for me... and it is not quite half way finished yet. But it being October, it is 10 months into the year. That is sad. It took me this long to truly allow God to work in whatever way he saw fit in my life. But now, I am giving everything over to Him. I want to be useful to Him. In BIG ways and SMALL.

I am very very tired. If I am going to go hiking around a big rocky mountain I should get some good sleep.

Everyone: I love you. I really, truly do. Not many people can say that. Especially about some of my friends. But I really, truly do love you. And I most likely always will. Even the one person who has hurt me so incredibly much and does not deserve my friendship... still have a large portion of my heart that no one else will ever be able to fill. Once my friend, always my friend. Sorry, you're stuck with me forever! I'll miss you. I'll always wait for you. And I'll always always think and pray about you. Friends are forever. Even if only in memory. And my memory paints a lovely picture of you and me. Me and you. And all the incredible adventures we had. Yes, as this paragraph progressed it was meant for one person alone. And most everyone who knows me will know who it is. And if *you* happen to stumble across this... today or tomorrow or 10 years from now... give me a call. I'll always welcome it with wide open arms. I love you and I always will and in a special place in my heart that is a part of my yesterdays, you are my best friend.

Good Night.